I was up late that Tuesday evening. It was around 11:30. I had taken a nap earlier in the evening, so I was now cleaning my kitchen and next I was proceeding to clean my bathroom. I was listening to the latest Hip Hop and R& B song my friend from America had sent me. I had been on this small island for almost a year serving with a community development program. I felt like I had a new family and community on this small island in the Caribbean. I was content. It was finally starting to feel like home.
That night when I was in the bathroom getting my cleaning supplies from under the sink I heard a noise at the door. When I went to look the door was cracked open. I closed the door thinking that the wind blew it open because I had a visitor earlier. They must not have shut the door. As soon as I shut the door and I locked it I knew something was wrong. My instincts told me that someone was in the apartment other that me. To this day I still don’t realize why I didn’t trust my instincts. I entered the kitchen with my hands up ready to protect myself. Within seconds a man jumped out from behind my kitchen wall. Masked, slanted eyes, hot breath, dark clothes, and a knife that had already started swinging at my hands. He told me to take off my clothes. I changed the subject to money, “You don’t want me, you want money.” The next 15 minutes in this real life horror film would change my life forever. Within that time frame I was strangled, robbed, beat, cut, and there was an attempted rape against my body and spirit. Unconsciously throughout the entire assault I said, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” He told me to shut up. Unconsciously I started saying, Psalms 23:1 and Psalm 23:4 “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. Even though I walk down the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil; your rod and staff- they comfort me. “ He told me to shut up again.
That night, by the grace of God I was able to get away. With a naked body, bloody hands,and a tortured spirit and mind I was able to fight, break a knife in half, and ask the rapist to use a condom before attempting to rape me. In the midst of all of this Jesus allowed me to slip underneath the assaulter’s grip, crawl to the door on my knees, and my neighbors who heard my screams dragged me upstairs to “safety.” That is nothing but God. Thank you Jesus.
So how have I healed from this? How have I been restored? It was difficult. I was diagnosed with something called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This caused me to have anxiety attacks, sleepless nights, a fear of knives, sometimes I could not walk down the street alone or enter a house without checking every room and under every bed. At first I was upset, angry, pissed off actually. I went through a trial. They caught the man. I testified and he received 46 years in prison. I still question: is prison really justice?
For a long time I felt sorry for myself. I had to tell my story because I needed people to feel sorry for me. I needed people to know what happened to me, so I shared every chance I could. This provided me with some healing; however, when I went home I still stared at the door to make sure no one entered while I was sleeping. Over the last 4.5 years sharing testimony, counseling, dance, plants, friends, family, and love have healed me. Jesus is the one who is continuing to heal me, and he is also restoring me.
In my travels and in ministry I have realized that EVERYONE has a testimony. I have heard about people’s suffering all over the world, however, I have also heard about their healing and their restoration through their relationship with Jesus Christ.
Everybody has a testimony. Many have been abused, raped, hungry, lonely, sick, neglected, chastised, and the list goes on. But, there is something about believing in something beyond ourselves that gives us hope and a peace that surpasses all understanding. Philippians 4:7 reads: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Please join our online community, Testimonies of Hope: The Intercultural Christian Devotional Website for daily inspiration. You can also like us on facebook at Testimonies of Hope! You will be blessed by stories of suffering, healing, and restoration: Testimonies of Hope!
Argrow “Kit” Evans
Founder, Testimonies of Hope:
The Intercultural Christian Devotional Website