Gd’s Love Languages

Once again, and without any assistance from humanity, spring has arrived. As I am writing pink cherry blossoms are beginning to bud on the tree-lined streets of Philly. Spring breathes new life into nature, reminding us to do the same in our own capacities. Spring is optimistic. Optimistic especially in the Northeast; spring is a pregnant pause, full of promise right before we jump into full bloom. Some could- and indeed they do– say that spring is romantic. So, if you would oblige me, I’d like to talk about love.  

According to Gary Chapman’s popular book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, people experience love and want to be loved in different ways. The five languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and touch. Chapman writes that knowing your love language—the way you experience the feeling of love—can help you understand what you need from your partner as well as what your partner needs from you. The Five Love Languages has been widely read: as of this writing, it is currently number twenty on Amazon’s “books most sold” list, not bad for a book celebrating its twenty-fifth year in publication. Maybe you’ve read it, or maybe you’ve heard someone say, “You’re speaking my love language.” There are even numerous online quizzes to take in order to discover your own love language. For whatever it’s worth, mine is touch.

It just so happens that Torah has something to say about love (languages) as well. Parshat T’rumah (Exodus 25) begins:

The Eternal spoke to Moses saying: Tell the Israelite people to bring to me gifts. You [Moses] shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart is so moved. […] And they shall make Me a Tabernacle, that I may abide in their midst.

T’rumah reveals what ancient Israelites believed Gd’s love language to be: the language of gifts.

For starters, I’m not saying that Gd has a love language or that if Gd did have a love language, it would be specifically the language of gifts. As a rabbinical student of the Reconstructing Judaism movement, I have been trained to study Torah with an civilizational eye, meaning I read Torah not to learn what Gd is like, but to learn what my ancestors believed Gd was like. T’rumah tells us what the ancient Israelites believed Gd’s love language to be. Instead of asking, Why would the Torah say that Gd want gifts? We should ask, Why did the ancient Israelites believe Gd needed gifts? What spiritual need did this fulfill for them?

This was one deeply familiar concept of Gd for the ancient Israelites.  Their worship centered around offering sacrifices to Gd at the Temple, such as the first fruits of the harvest. T’rumah explains that while the Israelites were en route to the Land of Israel, they were commanded to build a Tabernacle. The Tabernacle, like the Temple, was to be Gd’s dwelling place where Gd could remain with the people as they journeyed through the desert. Gd lays out Gd’s relational need clearly: bring me these gifts, and I will remain with you. Gd’s close proximity to the Israelites, Gd’s presence, is a Divine gesture of love. Like many of us, the ancient Israelites wanted to feel Gd’s presence. They created a system of offerings required by Gd to fulfill their innate desire to give to the Divine as a way to embody a connection and closeness with Divinity.

So, I ask you, What do you need in order to feel Gd’s presence? Whatever it is, using the wisdom of Chapman’s love languages, invert it. If affirmation of Gd’s closeness is what you need, invert it by using a daily prayer practice to express your desire to be closer to Gd. Do you need acts of service to feel Gd’s presence? Invert it, and do acts of service. You will find Gd’s presence in the faces of those in need, as it says in Psalm 34:18, “Hashem is near to the brokenhearted.”

The task of a spiritual seeker is without end. But the ikar, the main point here, is learn more about your own spiritual love language. What you need from Gd may be the very path you take in order to be closer to Divinity.