I was not raised in a religious household. There was no worship, no belief, no traditions revolving around a history or a spirituality. I was not raised to believe in anything otherworldly. That isn’t to say I was raised as an atheist; it is more that I simply was not introduced to religion in the household. I was aware of it, as I had extended family and friends who came from all sorts of religious and spiritual backgrounds, but it always seemed like something other people did. Never me. 

So, when I started high school and I met someone who was Pagan, I approached it with the same curious skepticism that I approached most things. The same way that I looked on with rapt attention in science class when my teacher told me that a dollar bill dipped in alcohol simply wouldn’t burn, I needed to know what was happening and why. I needed to know more. What I never expected was to connect with the faith so strongly. The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn, and it didn’t take me very long to realize that I had started to believe without even realizing it. 

As you can imagine, an identity crisis was not far behind. I had never been the girl who believed in something so strongly. My faith wasn’t displayed on my shoulder at all times. It wasn’t a part of my identity—until it was. I began to see the world in a different light, and my mind was opened to all sorts of possibilities. I could connect with other people who had a strong sense of faith in a way I never had before. I understood why faith mattered. It gives you purpose, it gives you comfort, and it gives you mysticism. The world becomes a different place. 

Therefore, I started to weep for my former self, who was so stuck in the realm of “I don’t have anything to believe.” No one has to believe in anything, but where I am now versus where I was seems like a much better place—for me, at least. I want to share that. I want people to know what it feels like to believe in something that brings you so much joy. And so I took my newfound faith, and I started to spread it. I wasn’t trying to convert anyone or necessarily introduce them to my faith, but to the idea of faith itself. To simply find something to believe in. Does it have to be a God? Does it have to be a higher power? No! You can choose to put your faith in the sun rising every morning, and that is enough. Just to believe in something. 

I found my something, and I am so grateful for that. I simply hope others can find something to believe in, too. 

Photo by Jordan Madrid on Unsplash